January 3, 4, 5, 6 - Lusaka to Livingstone

  Ernest and I decided to find an Iveco agent in Lusaka to get the car fixed once and for all and we didn't want the kids hanging around to wait for us. There had been just too many delays and another one was going to break the camel’s back so we waved goodbye, they went to Livingstone which was a good six hour drive and we went to find the agent.

  After a number of twists and turns in the hell-hole that they call Lusaka, we managed to find the agent along a dirt road that had craters in it, just for a change! And there was the agent, with a big Iveco sign outside – it was like striking gold, we were overjoyed and really believed they would definitely solve our problem.

  Out came the computer and with much aplomb the chief mechanic removed the greater part of the dashboard and plugged in the laptop. With a puzzled look on his face he told us that there were about 11 faults but none of them was our mystery 065!

  So now we had to find the right one that would turn off the dam red light! Well four hours later, after trying every avenue, they eventually decided that they didn't know what was wrong and they couldn't fix it. At that point I felt like putting a match to the damn car and catching the first plane back home. A Unimog was starting to look like a good option. Anyway, after phoning South Africa and even connecting the SA computers to the car, they were still in mystery.

  We felt that we were achieving very little by staying there, pulling plugs out and plugging them in again, so we decided to try and follow the kids and go for Livingstone. We knew it was a six hour trip and as Ernest's eyes are not too good at night, we thought that we would have to spend the night camping somewhere en route.

  The car was still limping along with our red light blinking at us with sickening regularity. Then we went over a nice big bump and, yippeeeee, the light went off and we were back to normal again!

  To get out of Lusaka was another story. The agent had drawn a map of a " short cut" which Ernest had handed to me with strict instructions to not get us lost. Well after 10 turns we were in the middle of the worst informal settlement you have ever seen; people just everywhere, taxis cutting in front of us and Ernest and I yelling at each other. We were completely jammed in, lost in hell. To turn that truck around is also not easy but we had to try and retrace our steps and start again, not that it would help very much as I had meticulously followed the map, even though Ernest thought that I hadn't.

  At this point I resigned as the navigator, Ernest fired me as the navigator and we weren't talking anymore. The yelling had turned into a deathly silence!  Very helpful, but nevertheless we were both being very right. We eventually found a huge articulated truck and just followed him through the narrow streets until we popped out onto the main road out of the city. We figured he must know this apparent short cut – Phew! We were out and on our way at last.

  We had gone 50 kilometers out of Lusaka when a guy in a Prado passed us and started waving madly… who the hell was that? Did we do something wrong? Did we cut him off? All these questions... He slowed down and we passed him again and he was still madly waving so we thought we should stop. It turned out to be Stuart, married to my nice Debbie, who we knew was working up in Zambia. A quick hug and a chat on the main road and he told us about a short cut / bypass of the particularly bad part of the road. He really wanted us to spend the night with him at the sugar mill where he worked and we would dearly loved to have done that but the kids were waiting for us at Livingstone. What’s more, it was Mark’s birthday so we really felt we should push on.

  The road he took us on was dirt, but a lot better than the Tar / pothole mess. So we followed him at one hell of a pace and cut out a huge amount of sweating and swearing on the "main road ." It was a real lucky meeting for us, as it cut at least 45-60 minutes off our time, so the prospect of making Livingstone that day was quite good.

  We always swear that we will never drive in Africa at night, it is just so dangerous and a stupid thing to do, especially on the great north road, but we had pushed on so far when it started to get dark that there were no more camp sites and we were reluctant to bush camp on our own. Up in the very remote parts of the country, we would have just stopped and camped for the night but around this main road it was a bit risky, so we forged on and arrived in Livingstone around 10PM that night.

At least it was done and we could put up our feet and relax for a few days.

  The following morning we were up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and we all headed for the falls after breakfast. It is just a short walk through the hotel grounds to get there. There is something so magical about those falls and the grandkids were raring to go. The last few times we were there, the water levels were quite low but there have been good rains up-country so it was a pretty impressive flow with lots of mist and thundering water.

  It was the first time the grandkids had seen the falls, so it was wonderful to see their faces and watch their enjoyment at the spectacle. They particularly enjoyed watching other tourists bungee jumping off the bridge. It is just as well you have to be 16 to jump otherwise I think we could have had one or two of our kids that would have given it a go.

  We then decided to go down a very steep incline to go and see the whirlpool. I unfortunately persuaded Ernest to give it a go and half way down he twisted his back and put it out badly. Oh my gosh, it was a real struggle to get him back up to the top. In fact, I think that did even more damage, even though we took it really slowly. Struggling up about 60 big, uneven steps wasn't the right thing to do and his back muscles literally seized up. By three that afternoon I realized we were in trouble and that he wasn't going to be able to move on the next day as planned. We called in the paramedic who gave Ernest a huge Voltarin injection to try and ease the pain , he gave me a packet of 100mg tablets to top it up and Tracy stepped in and did some heavy massage on his gluts to try and release the spasm.

  In any event, we were hardly slumming it, so we decided to just take the pressure off and stay put for the next day. We had made a booking in Botswana and were due to arrive there, but we knew we just weren't going to make it. In fact, I was considering just putting Ernest on a plane and flying him home. These kinds of mishaps are really part of African travel and you just have to take each day as it comes. Fortunately we were in a magnificent hotel and nobody was under any kind of stress. The kids had the swimming pool, a great big lawn to play on and a hotel that made you feel like you were the king of the world.

  I haven't said much about the hotel so I will mention it now. This is probably my most favorite hotel that we have stayed in... It’s built on the edge of the mighty Zambezi River, above the falls so you see the constantly rising mist that Vic Falls is so well known for. The hotel itself is built and decorated very tastefully and the minute you walk into it you feel like you have been transported back 100 years into the age of colonial Africa. You’re surrounded by the most magnificent, comfortable furniture, a huge wide veranda to shade you from the harsh African sun and there is always a butler attending to your every need. Hardly a hardship in any way and certainly nothing to complain about (except the exorbitant price but at this stage it was the last thing worrying any of us).

  So by the next morning, after a good night of drugged sleep, Ernest was feeling much better. He could just get out of bed and hobble along to breakfast so we were making great progress. I think the final tipping point on Ernest's progress back to mobility was my threat that I was going to drive the baby Hippo back to South Africa and he was going to have to either sit in the passenger seat or lie on the bed at the back. His recovery after that was quite miraculous!

  The day was spent in luxury, relaxing and drinking tea and eating cucumber sandwiches. We shoved Ernest into the pool and made him swim up and down which was exactly what was needed for his back, and the grandkids found the WiFi and drank copious amounts of cool drinks delivered by the ever-attentive butlers..... A hard day in Africa!

  We undertook at least two trips to the market that is situated just outside the hotel grounds, at the entrance to the falls, to buy curios. It is one of those typical African markets, just packed jam full of wooden carvings together with all the artists and traders that have their bartering patter down cold. There must be at least 30 little stalls all vying for your attention and trying to strike a bargain.

  Mark’s kids, especially Eve, just loved the bartering and had gathered as much stuff as she could out of the caravan to swop for anything that took her fancy. She is really a chip off the old block and Mark had given her a few lessons on how to barter before she got there so these poor old traders didn't know what had hit them when she came along. She was trading pens, shirts, shampoo, soap with a bit of money, for anything that she fancied. Her two brothers also did a bit of trading with their packet of goodies but they couldn't hold a candle to her newly developed skill. Those big blue eyes with an innocent angel look on her face totally took those hardened traders by surprise and she walked away at the end of a few hours trading with a big bag full of stuff and a grin from ear to ear. Oh my gosh, is she her father’s daughter through and through! I was tasked to just follow her through each stall but I never got a chance to intervene in any way, I feel sorry for any future business man who tries to take her on. She is a force to be reckoned with.

  The " trading" took up a good part of the day so Mark’s kids were happy. Aiden and Garrick had occupied themselves swimming, and with Ernest’s rapid improvement we had a good day and were pretty sure we would be able to move on to Botswana the next day.